1. 2 years ago 

   So am i selfish?

   So lately i’ve been very to myself.  I’ve been focusing on work and saving money to get my car and all the other things that are going on in my own life.  Pretty much just creating a foundation so i can make myself better, I suppose.  So when i get home i’m tired, and all i want to do is relax.  I don’t do my laundry, and i don’t care about the state of my room.  I don’t really ask my mom how her day went or anything like that because i’m focused.  Pretty self absorbed of me i know, but i’m trying to make my situation better.  I feel that getting up and out on my own would give me the self confidence i need to make me a more whole person.

   So my mom recently went on a tirade about how i walk around the house with my nose up in the air and think i’m better than everyone else.  She pretty much squared herself in front of me and told me that no matter how big i get i will never be bigger than her because she’s my mother.

   See?  That kind of dominating parenting is the stuff that i don’t respond to anymore at my age.  It just makes me withdraw from her more because everytime i speak to her, its another speech about how no one helps her in the house and she has to do everything.

   So i was talking to my twin about it, and she told me that mom thinks that i’m selfish.  Is it selfish if i’m trying to find myself?  I feel i’m very close!   I dont’ know what my mother wants from me, and if i could just get out of here our relationship could be better.  I feel almost stifled like i’m trying to grow and i’m not being allowed to.  Its very frustrating at times.  Things would be better if i was out, because she would have one less messy person.  Cammie (my dog, and another source of frustration for her) would be gone, and we would have our space.  She wouldn’t have to see my messy room because i would have my apartment clean before she got there everytime.  But it does kind of bother me that she feels bad, and that she’s trying to make me feel bad about wanting to be self reliant.

2. Notes

Strength.Wisdom.Beauty. In our quests to become women we find that we have all three...

Listen to me trying to be all philosophical. Lol.

I really just made this blog to amuse myself.

I am a 23 year old Veterinary Technician whose just trying to find her true self in life. Perhaps expressing myself more often will help! In any case... welcome!

Following

Tumblr